Skip to content
The Long TableFamily life across two homes

Written this month

Half term across two homes

Half term is the week that catches households out. It is not long enough to feel like a holiday and it is far too long to leave to the day before.

A hallway with two packed bags, a football and a folded map on the floor by the front door.
The morning half term starts. Most of the week is decided by two choices made a fortnight earlier.

01 Why it is awkward

A half term week has none of the structure that makes term time manageable. School stops, clubs stop, the ordinary week disappears, and both households are usually still working. What is left is five days that have to be filled twice over.

It is also short enough that splitting it feels wasteful and long enough that not splitting it feels unfair. Most households find themselves relitigating the same question three times a year, which is exactly the sort of recurring argument a written plan is supposed to remove.

Deciding the general rule once, in the parenting plan, and applying it without discussion is worth more than getting any particular October right.

02 How households usually split it

Three patterns come up repeatedly. The first is a straight alternation: one household takes the whole week, and they swap the following year. It is simple, it gives each home a proper stretch, and it is the easiest to plan work around.

The second is a split at the weekend, giving each household part of the week. It is fairer on paper and harder in practice, because two short stretches need two lots of planning and the changeover lands mid week.

The third is to follow the ordinary pattern exactly as though it were a normal week. It is the least disruptive for the child and the least satisfying for whichever adult ends up with the working days.

Three ways of dividing a half term week
PatternWorks well whenWatch out for
Whole week, alternatingBoth adults can take leave in turnA long gap for the other household
Split at the weekendNeither adult can take a full week offA mid week changeover and double planning
Ordinary pattern keptThe child values the routine mostOne adult always getting the working days

03 The two decisions to make early

The first is leave. Whoever is taking the week needs it booked well before the term starts, and in most workplaces that means the previous term. This is the decision that goes wrong most often and it goes wrong for entirely practical reasons.

The second is the one thing that will happen. Not a full itinerary, just a single anchor: a day out, a visit to someone, a project at home. A week with one anchor feels planned. A week with none feels like five days of Sundays, however much everyone enjoys the individual days.

Put both into the shared calendar as soon as they are known, using the routine described in the shared family calendar.

04 The particular difficulty of the autumn one

October half term is the hardest of the three. The weather has turned, the daylight has gone, everyone is tired from a long first term and the outdoor options that carried the summer have closed for the season.

It is the week where the wet weather list earns its keep. Rainy day outings in Devon was written with October in mind, and the low ambition principle applies more than ever: a short walk, an indoor anchor and an early tea.

It is also the week when a child is most likely to be flat, and least likely to be able to explain why. The approach in asking children how it is going works better than direct questions here.

More like this

The Notebook